12 years ago was the first of many times I said that to myself…
🤦♀️ As I slapped my forehead...I said, "why didn't they teach me that in school?"
I was 27 years old and a single parent struggling with undiagnosed anxiety and depression.
😔I came from a broken home and moved out at 16 to escape an abusive stepdad.
As he pinned me to a wall for the last time, I heard the crack of my rib...
💪I swore to myself I would not settle for a life of struggle.
That night, as I crawled out my bedroom window...
I committed to transcending my familial patterns...
And to build a truly healthy and well-balanced life. 🧘♀️
I didn’t realize it at the time but I was craving a wholeness I never knew. ☯️
I desperately craved the peace and joy that come from living in abundance...
Somehow I knew I could do anything I put my mind to!
So I set out to make it happen.
👊🏃♀️I soon came to realize I had lived my entire life in a perpetual state of fight or flight.
Growing up with highly volatile parents was like a petri dish for anxiety and depression.
School became unbearable…
I couldn’t focus on learning math and science when the world seemed so unsafe.
⛈⛈⛈The tremendous emotional tax overshadowed my desire to be a good student.
👊🏃♀️The chronic stress and perpetual flight or fight state was debilitating.
It shut down the center of the brain in charge of executive function, the prefrontal lobe.
I was missing the social and emotional piece…
The part that teaches you how to deal with 90% of life!
I was not well equipped to deal with what was happening in my world...
And yet...I would come to learn…
I could deal with anything if provided the right tools.
My favorite quote became one by Aristotle...
❣️❣️❣️“Educating the mind without educating the heart is no education at all.” ❣️❣️❣️
I had not been trained to understand emotion let alone how to process it.
🧐🧐🧐I had not been taught how to listen to my body or understand what it was trying to tell me.
And most importantly, I had not been told how to listen to or understand my heart.
💞 Every morning it felt as if my heart would beat out of my chest. 💞
And I had no clue what that meant...
🤲 My palms were sweaty and I would shake with nervousness. 🤲
I tried to hide the shakiness in my voice.
I thought that was just the curse of the body I had been given.
My brain would seize up at the thought of being called on in class.
And the fear of having to take a test would cause a full body shut down.
😓 My mind would go blank even though I knew the answers to the questions. 😓
I lived this way for years without realizing the undiagnosed anxiety and depression.
Finally at 27 years old... I was willing to ask for help.
As luck would have it, I stumbled upon a therapist would change my life forever.
🤯🤯🤯 He recommended a book about cognitive behavioral therapy, called A Peaceful Mind.
It opened my eyes to things I couldn’t believe I had lived so many years without!
Finally!
✅I was able to be the observer of my thoughts instead of being identified by my thoughts.
✅I became aware of the story I was telling myself and the core beliefs that it stemmed from.
✅I became aware of the physical reaction that my body had to the story I was telling it.
I found myself asking...why was I not taught this in school!?! 🤯
If core needs drive our lives...isn’t that something we should thoroughly understand?
My core belief was that “life is hard” and “it will never change”.
Through confirmation bias, I had collected all the proof needed ...
to believe my dismal story of poverty and lack.
But that is what it took to push me to a place where I would make the necessary changes.
While it would seem the blame was on my parents and our conditioning...
It wasn’t the only source of the problem.
Now you should know I am a realist...I refuse to lie to myself. 🤫🤫🤫
So I could not deny...
The crappy external environment was a major factor...
But it was outside my control so I had to choose not to focus on it.
If I wanted to take my power back 💪💪💪
I was going to have to identify the things that were within my control and change them!
I finally learned that my thoughts, the story I tell myself.
and the core beliefs I choose, are within my control!!!
I didn’t have to be a victim to my circumstances any longer!
I couldn’t believe how blindly I had been living my life…
How replaying the challenges and focusing on the limitations...
continued to hold me back LONG after the challenges had pasted.
I didn’t have to be a victim to my circumstances any longer!
I couldn’t believe how blindly I had been living my life…
How replaying the challenges and focusing on the limitations...
continued to hold me back LONG after the challenges had pasted.
Looking back, it felt like I was walking through life ASLEEP! 😴😴😴
And I didn’t even realize it!
I literally said yet again “Why didn’t they teach me this in school!”🤯
This is what drives VIBE and our mission!
There are far too many practical and yet critical lessons that are not taught in school.
We can not sit by and hope someone along the line will teach them to kids who are not getting them at home.
When I learned that physical symptoms are signposts...begging for my attention...
I realized depression and anxiety are not always hereditary...
But they can be signals of needs not met.
👋👋👋It is our mind and body trying to get our attention!
They are indications, of course, corrections that are needed.
This is a crucial life lesson that all children must be taught!
They have to know how to read it as a physical signal they are off track..
✊✊✊ Inaccurate thoughts feel yucky for a reason...
They are asking us to find a better way!
🚦🚦🚦Positive thoughts are not only beneficial but are an indication of being on the right track...
they also reprogram your entire being for success!
The mind does not have to be permanently broken, it just needs guidance.
An unhealthy body is not permanently damaged...we are designed to heal.
An unhealthy body is just trying to tell you something…
Our minds and body's work in concert to communicate with us.
When we are not on the right track we experience uncomfortable “messages” in the form of mental or physical disturbances. Conversely, the opposite is true.
As we start to get back on a track that is right for us we will start to feel better.
🔐🔐🔐 Being able to decode these messages is the key to unlocking our highest potential.
Over time we create a path that works for us and in turn cultivate the joy and peace we desire.
Looking back there were many signals that I ignored because I didn’t know how to read them.
When signals are ignored...they compound...
Depression and anxiety will continue to build until there is a breakdown.
🧐🧐🧐 Forcing us to look at the root cause and fix it.
Imagine what the world would look like if we were more in tune with our minds and bodies!
Imagine what it might take for us to come together to make that happen.
I have to wonder...how different would life have been had I learned this at an early age?
How different could our society be if we taught this to our children at an early age? 🤝🤝🤝
There is a breakdown happening in our society and it’s our time as educators to facilitate the necessary change!
Understanding our minds and bodies is a skill that needs to be taught and practiced.
It can take years to interpret our bodies unique signals...
and find the adjustment that is right for the individual.
It’s a skill that needs to be nurtured at the earliest possible ages.
So let’s get started and give our kids the tools necessary...
to work through life’s bigger challenges on their own when the time comes.
💞💞💞 I would love to hear how you are doing this for your kids.
Drop your tips and tricks in the comments and let me know how you are tackling this challenge.
Looking for strategies to teach your kids cognitive behavior therapy at home or in the classroom?
Drop me a DM and I’ll share our lesson plan with you.